Why the Snow Never Melts
by load my soul
Summary: Chapters 8 and 9 have been posted. Sorry it took so long! My first Furuba story about Hatori and Kana, their time together, their romance, how Akito tore it apart, and Hatori's inner suffering. Please read and review, thanks!
1. Kana, his new assistant

Hi there! This is my first Fruits Basket fic. Please go easy on me; I'm not used to working with serious characters like Hatori. As always, standard disclaimers apply.

Why the Snow Never Melts…

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"Even if the days when I smiled a lot should turn out to be nothing but a lovely dream… that would be all right with me… " **Love Taught Me**" Laura Bailey.

_I wished that the dream we tried to share would never end. But wishing changes nothing. It only makes the pain and suffering worse. I've known it for year. The horrible goodbye we shared hurts me still, as it will forever. The woman I loved… she's gone from my life and always will be. What remains of our love lies with in my aching heart and my left eye. Kana… I had no choice but to do what I did. It killed me to see you that way… Kana… I love you, … I miss you… _Hatori Sohma

Chapter 1: The New Assistant, Kana.

"Hello in there! I'm Kana Sohma! I'll be your new assistant as of today!" Hatori Sohma looked up from his desk. "This is strange; we're from the same family but we've never even met before! But when I told my friends that I'd be working for you, they all warned me, you'd be handsome!" Hatori stood in reply.

"This will be your desk," Hatori replied bluntly. "And these are today's charts: you'll want to start looking over-"

"I **knew** it would snow today!" Kana exclaimed, interrupting Hatori. Turning to the tall man, she said, "Say! Here's a question for you! _When the snow melts, what does it become?_" Hatori frowned. _Is she making fun of me?_

"It's becomes **water**, of course," Hatori replied, feeling a tad foolish.

"Bzz-bzz! Wrong!" Hatori blinked. _Wrong? How I am wrong? Melted snow is water._ "it becomes Spring!" Kana beamed. "Spring is my favorite season!" Hatori was speechless. "Oh! I'm so sorry! I interrupted you earlier!" Hatori cleared his throat. Kana pointed the a desk. "So that's my desk. And… something about charts… " She bowed. "I'm _sorry_, um… is it okay if I call you "_Hatori_" or do you prefer "_Mr. Sohma_" I mean _"Dr. Sohma_"." Secretly, Hatori was amused.

""_Hatori", _please and there's no need to apologize, Kana," Hatori replied. "You'll want to start looking over your charts and-"

"Young master Hatori?" Hatori sighed, _Another interruption… _"Master Akito has become ill and requires your assistance."

"Please wait here, Kana, I will return shortly," Hatori sighed, taking his medical bag and walking down the hall.

"They warned me for a very good reason… He's gorgeous… " Kana said to herself. She sat down at her desk and returned to her thoughts, _He's so solemn. Maybe something's bothering him. Is it me? Was it because I interrupted him? What if he doesn't like me? Oh no!_ She argued with herself until Hatori's voice broke her thoughts.

"I'm back," he said. "Now, as I was saying, you'll want to start looking over today's charts."

"I'm sorry I interrupted you before, Dr.-I mean Hatori… " Kana said, looking down toward her feel. _Now I sound stupid…_

"It's all-" The phone rang, once again cutting Hatori off. Kana picked up the phone.

"Hello? Oh yes, he's here." Kana took the phone from her ear, "It's someone named "**Shigure**" and he said he fell down the stairs… " Hatori rolled his eyes as Kana handed him the phone.

"Are you seriously hurt or are you just trying to get me to come over?" Hatori asked immediately. "Fine. I'll be over as soon as I can. But if I get over there and you're not still on the floor whining about how you think you broke your leg, I'm going to vaccinate you, and it **will** be extremely painful." Kana sweat-dropped. "All right, goodbye."

"Is he a friend of yours?" Hatori nodded and sighed.

"I have to go check him, I **know** he's faking," Hatori stated. "But there's a slight chance he isn't."

"But what about Master Akito?"

"He'll be fine, he has a slight cough but it's nothing too serious," Hatori replied dully. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go to Shigure's-"

"C-can I come too?" Kana asked timidly, interrupting him again. Hatori replied with a silent nod. His expression became dreamy. "Ah! I'm sorry! I interrupted you again!" A smile crept onto the man's face.

"I was only going to say '_house_', it's all right," he said, clearly amused. Kana looked up at him and smiled. _He's smiling!_ Kana's thoughts exclaimed joyously. _Maybe he doesn't hate me!_ Hatori took his cast making kit under his arm and picked up his medical bag. Kana picked up her purse. A tense silence rose as they got into Hatori's car. Feeling uncomfortable, Kana asked,

"So… Hatori?" Pausing for a brief moment, she asked, "What's Shigure like?"

"He's completely irresponsible," Hatori sighed. "He's an overly dramatic idiot, romance writer." Kana laughed.

"And you're his friend anyway?"

"We've been friends since high school," Hatori paused. _Why am I telling her that?_ Both now out of the car and at Shigure's door, Hatori knocked. A loud "_It's open!_" emitted from the house. Hatori rolled his eyes and opened the door. "What if it wasn't me?"

"Ooh! Does Ha'ri has a girlfriend?"

"This is my assistant, Kana," Hatori replied, looking at Shigure's leg. "You sprained your ankle."

After fixing Shigure's ankle, Hatori's eyes wander over to Kana, whom was watching the snow fall. He blocked out Shigure, whom was still rambling on about something or another. Right now, Hatori really didn't care what Shigure was talking about, Kana was the only person on his mind. Broken sentences rampaged through Hatori's mind.

When the snow melts-

Water, of course.

Spring!

_-what does it become?_

"Spring…"

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That's it for chapter one. . Please, tell me what you think and go easy on me, it's my first Fruits Basket fic. Thanks for reading! Bye! Katsuki Harusame Sohma 


	2. Love is just a word to me

Hi everyone! Here's chapter two.

Warning: Hatori will seem out of character, but that's only because we've never really seen his truly happy side.

I would like to thank my three reviewers,

kireina

Ari-fm-yk

And veronica

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**Chapter 2: Love is just only a word to me...**

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"_No matter how many waves crash down as I cry out to my memories, I can't ever return to the shore you were on..._" Tasogare no Umi (You can see the Hatori/Kana-ness in there! Hatori's crying out to his memories, but Kana will be forever unreachable... Poor Ha'ri!)  
  
_Secretly, I yearn for you, Kana. I know… Momiji, Shigure and Ayame all know that I do. But I want you to be happy, you can be happy without me, yet… I cannot be happy without you. The day you left, I cried. Momiji was worried about me, I tried to reassure him that I was fine, but each time I tried... I choked. I choked on the words that weren't meant to leave my mouth. I wasn't fine. I was miserable. I didn't know how I was going to continue living knowing you didn't remember me, our love, our dream. The dream to become married… The one that Akito shattered. I didn't blame him. I didn't blame him at all. It was all my fault. Mine. Not yours. You continuously apologized to me. It hurt my heart to hear you say it.   
"Hatori, please forgive me... your eye, it's all my fault!"   
No Kana, it was my fault. I pray that you find happiness. And you have. You're married, and I, I am all alone. I will be forever. Please forgive me, Kana. Oh god… Kana, it's all my fault… _from the mind of Hatori Sohma.  
  
Kana sighed, it had been a long day. Looking over to the doctor, she smiled. Had it really been three weeks? Three weeks since they had met. She had developed a crush on him. She could hardly look him in the eye anymore- it drove her insane. She paused for a moment and looked back over to the standoffish doctor, whom was scribbling rapidly on some paper. She laughed to herself. He worked so hard and hardly got any sleep. Kana noted that he looked tired, maybe she shouldn't try asking if he wanted lunch. But wouldn't that be rude? How could he work under those conditions? Silence resumed until Kana stood.  
  
"Um. Hatori? I'm going to go get some lunch, would you like to come?" Standing also, he replied.  
  
"All right, I'll go." Hatori grabbed his coat and followed Kana out the door.  
  
"The place I was thinking of isn't too far from here, why don't we walk?" Hatori smiled slightly.  
  
"That sounds like a wonderful idea." They began walking off toward the front gates and then off Sohma property. As soon as they stepped off of Sohma property, they stepped on to a sheet of ice. Kana slipped on the ice and fell. 

"Ouch. I guess we'll have to watch for ice sheets on the way there, huh?" Kana said, getting up. Before he could even think, a snowball hit him in the chest and he slipped. "Oh, I'm sorry, I just meant to hit you, not knock you over," Kana said, holding out a hand. Instead of taking it, Hatori found himself picking up some snow and throwing it at her. Hatori laughed to himself as he got to his feet. Kana smiled. Hatori watched as the whimsical spirit he called Kana danced through the snow.   
  
"Isn't the snow beautiful, Hatori?"   
  
"Yes, yes it is…" Kana beamed as she twirled in the snow.   
  
"When you were younger, what did you think the snow was?" Hatori thought for a moment.   
  
"I don't really know. It was always just frozen water to me."  
  
"I thought the snow was angel feathers, falling down from heaven. Then, my mother told me that they were angel tears, frozen angel tears to honor the men and women upon the earth." He just stood there. Kana began twirling again. He stood there and watched Kana the angel twirl in the snow. His eyes softened and he suddenly snapped out of a joyous reverie.  
_  
When the snow melts-  
  
I think I love her  
  
Spring!  
  
Angel tears...  
  
Angels..._

Angel feathers…  
  
No! boomed a voice in the back of Hatori's mind. _Love. Love is just a word to me. _Hatori sighed. _Who are you kidding, Hatori? You love her… You love her a lot. More than you ever loved anything.._.   
  
"Hatori?" Kana asked, she had been calling his name for a few minutes now. "Hatori? Are you all right?" Her tone became worried. Hatori snapped out of his thoughts.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Kana, I got caught up in my thoughts, I'm okay."  
  
"You're overworked, Hatori," she said. Hatori shook his head in a hasty attempt to ward off his arguing thoughts.  
  
"I must admit I am tired, but I'd rather eat right now. I can rest later." Kana sighed and smiled.   
  
"All right, come on, Hatori, we're here!" Kana dragged Hatori into the restaurant. After they were seated, like a mother to her child, Kana said, "When we get back to the office, you're taking a nap mister!" Hatori smiled slightly.  
  
_Kana… I love you…_

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I apologize once again. For Hatori's OOCness.


	3. Akito

Arigato gozaimasu! Your reviews are delightful! Please enjoy chapter three.

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Chapter 3: Akito…

"_Sailing out into the sea of twilight, the two of us shall never meet again…_" Tasogare no Umi  
  
_Kana. I was so happy when you said it.  
"I love you too, Hatori! I love you too!" But then you tried to hug me… I dodged you swiftly, and you didn't understand. The curse… I was so scared, scared of what you might think. I am the dragon whom couldn't transform into the dragon. I am the seahorse. A damn seahorse. I told you that I didn't want to get you sick, you understood, I had caught a cold from Akito the previous week. Thankfully, the only times I transformed into a seahorse were when you left my side to rest. Would you think I was weird if I transformed into a seahorse in front of you? Would you stop loving me? Kana… I didn't want to find out, but eventually, I had to… The questions drove me insane. Kana… you think our love was one sided; that I didn't return your love… You're wrong… I love you so much… But I'm afraid the love is one sided on my part now… I wish we were together… Hatori Sohma_  
  
Akito Sohma's eye twitched with unaired anger_. How dare he be late?! How dare he?! I am the most important person he knows! That bastard Hatori!_ Akito's thoughts bellowed. Hatori treaded with extreme caution as he entered Akito's room. He had been fifteen minutes late for his appointment with Akito.  
  
"I'm sor-"  
  
"You're late, Hatori!" Akito said, his voice in a deathly calm whisper.  
  
"I'm very sorry, Akito, I had some business I had to take care of…"  
  
"That's why I got you an assistant, Hatori, to take care of this so called "business"…" Akito replied impatiently. "Don't just stand there Hatori." Akito smirked as Hatori began the checkup.  
  
"You seem to be doing a lot better today…"

"Yes, I am…" Akito replied impatiently. "You may leave now." Hatori left the room. "He will pay…"

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"Kana?" asked Hatori, entering his office and putting away his things.  
  
"Oh, hi Hatori! How is Master Akito?" Kana asked, getting up from her desk. Hatori replied with a tired,  
  
"He's fine. However, he was mad that I was late." Kana frowned.  
  
"I'm sorry, that's my fault. If I hadn't have dropped all of those papers you wouldn't have been late." Hatori smiled sympathetically.  
  
"It's all right Kana, I startled you and that's why you dropped the papers," Hatori replied. "I have to pick up Momiji from school… I'll be back soon." Kana and Hatori said their goodbyes and Hatori went out the door. Kana sighed.  
  
"It sure is boring here with out him."

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The shrill ring of the phone woke Kana from her somewhat peaceful slumber. Picking up the phone, she mumbled a sleepy "hello?"  
  
"Kana!" Shigure's voice shouted. "Kana! Wake up!" Kana yawned slightly.  
  
"Is there something wrong?" Kana asked blearily, picking her head up off the desk.  
  
"Hatori and Momiji were in a car accident, they're at the local hospital and-"  
  
"Oh my god!" Kana shrieked. "Hatori and Momiji?!"  
  
"They-" Kana dropped the phone before the man could say another word. Panicking, she got up and tore out of the room. "Kana? Kana! Are you still there Kana? Kana?!" Kana kept running. She tore out of the main house to the "outside" half of the Sohma estate and turned left.  
  
"Oh my god… What if Hatori is… and Momiji! He was so young and-" Kana muttered breathlessly. She kept running, not caring who had to get out of her way. "Hatori and Momiji can't be dead!" she shouted as the hospital came into view. Shigure greeted her at the door of the ER.  
  
"Kana, why didn't you stay on the phone?" Shigure asked, motioning for her to sit down and catch her breath. Tears streamed down her face.  
  
"Where are they?" Shigure smiled fondly.  
  
"They're fine, Kana. It's all right. I was going to tell you over the phone but you didn't give me a chance."  
  
"I'm sorry, Shigure, I panicked… If something were to happen to any of you… I wouldn't know what to do…"  
  
"Hatori has to have a few stitches and Momiji needs to have some glass cuts treated. But other than that, they're both fine," Shigure said, the fond smile still on his face.  
  
"Thank god…" Kana said, wiping tears from her face.

"Stupid Hatori… You think you can find love? You're a freak, every zodiac is. From that wretched Cat to the Tiger… they're all freaks. They're **my **freaks. No one can have them. No one…"

She ran back to Hatori's room. "Hatori!" she cried, wiping more tears.  
  
"Miss, you're not allowed to be back here," a doctor said.  
  
"Kana? Doctor Aisawa, please let her stay." Kana fell to her knees in front of Hatori.  
  
"Hatori, I was so scared. I got a call from Shigure, but I panicked before he could give me all the details… I thought you were…" Kana looked up. "Where's Momiji?"  
  
"Hallo Kana!" Momiji said in his usual bubbly tone. Kana's eyes watered. "Kana, _warum weinen Sie?_"  
  
"Thank god you're both okay!" Kana looked up at Hatori, whom was smiling.  
  
"Everything's okay, Kana, we're fine," Hatori said reassuringly.

"They're both fools if they think I do not know!" Akito said, smirking maliciously. "I can tell, Hatori's in love with her. But she cannot have him! He is **mine**!"

"Oh Hatori-"  
  
"I love you, Kana…" Hatori said, hoping the feeling was mutual. Kana looked up at him for a moment before crying,  
  
"I love you too, Hatori! I love you too!" Doctor Aisawa and Momiji left to leave them in private. Kana got up to hug Hatori, but he dodged her. "I… uh… Is something wrong?  
  
"I'm sorry, Kana," Hatori said immediately, "I-I caught a cold from Akito, it's wearing down, but I'm still contagious…"  
  
"I understand, you don't want to get me sick," Kana said, smiling. "I love you so much, Hatori…"  
  
_What if she finds out? What if she doesn't love me anymore because of it?_

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Thank you for reading! Please review. (Even though you don't have to…)


	4. Seahorses

Sorry this took me so long to put up. I've been having mad writer's block. X.x That's why this chapter is kinda short. It's short, but it's sweet! Standard disclaimers apply, kay?

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Chapter 4: Seahorses…

"_Bit by bit my heart is charmed. With that dazzling smile, let's flee from the endless darkness… hold my hand…_" Dan Dan Kokoro Hikaraeteku Field of View.

_The coldest day in winter… and I was warm… You smile. It warmed my soul. I loved you and I was afraid to love you… Kana, we're from two different worlds. I am cursed. I am possessed by the vengeful spirit of the dragon… How can I even begin to explain? Kana… please understand… Please…_

Hatori sat at his desk, scribbling something down on a piece of paper. Kana stood, silently watching him. Hatori had a focused look in his eyes which told Kana not to disturb him. Sighing inwardly, Kana watched the snow fall from the sky. They had been caged up in the office since the storm had begun. Setting down a cup of coffee in front of him, Kana asked,

"Ne, Hatori, why don't we call it a day?" Hatori stood, stretched a bit and glanced outside.

"It's really coming down…" Thinking for a minute, he continued. "Do you want to stay at my house until the storm dies down? I have an extra futon you could sleep on." Kana smiled and accepted his offer.

"Thank you… "

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The usually short walk to Hatori's house from the office was unusually long. The snow had fallen heavily and it was now up to their knees. Fiddling with the keys, Hatori opened his front door and they both tripped inside. Freezing, soaking and numb, they frantically tried to retrieve the heat they had lost. Hatori turned up the heater.

"I'll be right back, Kana," Hatori said, walking down the hall. When he returned, he was wearing a slightly oversized white shirt and black sweat pants. "I apologize, this is all I have that would fit you…" He handed Kana some of his pajamas. Kana accepted the clothes with a smile.

"Thank you," she replied, walking into the bathroom to change. When she finished changing, she handed her soaking, cold, clothes to Hatori.

"I'll put our clothes in the washer. Please, make yourself at home."

It wasn't very long after that before they both became hungry. Since Hatori got his meals from the mail house most of the time, he didn't have very much food. Kana could only make a small pot of ramen. Hatori accepted the ramen appreciatively. After they ate, Kana and Hatori began talking.

"Hatori, I love you so much…" Kana said. "Your eyes are so warm… and your smile is genuine… sweet… it just makes me so happy… knowing you're near…" Hatori smiled.

"Kana… you're much more than I deserve…" They both leaned in closer. Hatori, not realizing what would happen, accepted this kiss with all his soul. Their lips touched and seconds later in a puff of smoke, Hatori was a seahorse. Kana pause and stared for a moment before screaming,

"**Water**! No! Seawater! Ahhhh!! Which one is it?! Hatori!!!!" Picking the seahorse up, she frantically ran to the bathroom, filled up the tub and threw him in. After a few minutes passed, a soaking, naked Hatori emerged from the tub, a solemn, serious, almost frightened look on his face.

"Kana… I-I can explain…" Hatori stuttered, sounding horrified at Kana's newest discovery. He collected his clothes and put them back on. Kana looked at him with interest as if telling him to continue. "I am part of the Sohma family curse. Every generation, fourteen Sohmas must deal with this curse. Akito… the reason he gets so sick so often is because he holds the "core"."

"You're the year of the dragon then… right?" Hatori nodded. Kana merely laughed, "I don't care what you turn into. I'll always love you, Hatori."

"So… now you know…" Kana started drying Hatori's hair. In an attempt to clear the tension, he said, "You know, if you threw a REAL seahorse into the tub like that… it's probably die… " Kana giggled and left the towel on his head.

"I was afraid of that! But I was so shaken up, I couldn't think…" She paused for a minute. "Now I understand. I was wondering why you never wanted to hold me… you were afraid. So you distanced yourself from people… even the one you love… " Pausing again she said, "But… you don't have to be afraid. Not of me, Hatori… I'm so glad I met you, Hatori… and I'm even happier to have fallen in love with you…" Leaning her head on his, all she could see was his tears.

_Is this… is this what it's like to feel free? These tears… they're the frozen snow… melted by the first warm breath of spring…_

Hatori's tears initially surprised Kana, but she knew. She knew what he had been put through.

_I'm finally free…_

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Sorry that took me so long. I had to repost this chapter because I had to edit it some more. O.o


	5. Happiness Found

A/N: I worked on this chapter very hard, I had writer's block and stuff on my mind. Please treat it kindly, arigato!_**

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Chapter 5: Happiness found** _

"_Though going on is painful, that same sadness is wonderful…passing by today, passing by here. To see your smile again…" Sorairo- Ritsuko Okazaki_

_It had to be one of the happiest days of my life, Kana, we were at the office, a warm feeling all around us. Christmas almost upon us… We were on top of the world... It was so wonderful, but it'd never be as wonderful as you. I never dreamed that you would leave. Never dreamed that it would end… Kana, it hurts to write these memoirs. I swear, this is the last time I take a suggestion from Shigure… Oh Kana, that day… your smile will forever be in my memory. And so will your tears. You were my life, Kana…I cherish the time we spent together…- Hatori Sohma_

Kana beamed as she watched the fire danced in the fire place. The snow was falling fast and heavily, that didn't bother her since the man she loved so dearly was sitting right next to her. It was the greatest day to be at home with the person you cherish!

"Isn't it a beautiful day, Hatori?" Hatori nodded and smiled, handing her a cup of hot chocolate. He had to admit that the snow looked wonderful. It was falling beautifully… And he was with the one he loved the most. There were only two days left until Christmas and Kana couldn't wait any longer. Hatori sat down at his desk and opened his binder. Underneath the flexible cover was a small gift box. As the man looked over to her, Kana blushed and hid behind the cover of her binder.

"Is this from you, Kana?" he asked, blinking. Kana nodded.

"Uhm… Yes…" she replied, putting down the cover of her binder and trying to hide her blush. "It's not much… but… Merry Christmas, Hatori."

"I have something for you as well…" he said, getting up from his desk and retrieving a small gift box. He handed it to her and smiled. "Merry Christmas, Kana." Kana prayed that he would like her gift and Hatori was hoping the same thing. Kana bought Hatori a watch and engraved in the back was,

"**_I love you Hatori…_".**

Hatori bought Kana a golden locket which also had something engraved in it-

**"You are my warm spring sun, Kana…".**

Hatori took his old watch off and put on his new one, then put the locket around Kana's neck. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Kana…" He paused, getting down on one knee in front of her. "Kana, will you marry me?" Joyful tears made rivers down Kana's face.

"Of… of course I will!" she exclaimed, so desperately wanting to hug him. She watched as a diamond solitaire ring was slipped onto finger. Not being able to control herself, Kana finally wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. Hatori didn't mind at all, she said yes, and in the back of his mind, he was wondering- _How would Akito react to this?_ He didn't let that bother him- he was engaged! He never dreamed that he would ever get engaged. It was almost scary, but exciting.

And for the first time in a long time, Hatori felt like nothing could ever go wrong.

* * *

"Shigure, Kana and I are getting married," Hatori said into the phone, "She said 'yes'." Shigure wasn't all that surprised, he knew both Hatori and Kana personally, and from the way they talked about each other, he knew it was bound to happen. 

"Really? Congratulations, Ha'ri!" the dog replied, thinking, _I get throw a bachelor party I get to throw a bachelor party! I wonder if he would mind if I had a girl jump out of the cake…_ Shigure sweat dropped, _Never mind…_

"_Glückwünsche!_" Momiji said happily, hugging Hatori, then hugging Kana. "_Bitte vergesst nicht, für einander zu sorgen! Haben Sie eine glückliche, wunderbare Ehe!" _(A/N: o.o" The translation is at the bottom)

Word got around the estate, fast. The only person who didn't know… was Akito.

Hatori had imagined the possibility of Akito saying. "No. You are **not** to be wed." But the possibility was so far away, so hard to think about… so… impossible. He had never felt so high. He felt like he was flying, he never wanted to come down…

But Akito…

Would send Hatori…

**Crashing **down…

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A/N: I'm sorry it took me months to write that… and I'm sorry it's so short...I had so much on my mind, it won't happen again. I'm already writing the next chapter, it shouldn't take me long! 

Oh! I almost forgot! The translation, "Congratulations!" and "Please don't forget to take care of each other. Have a happy, wonderful marriage!"


	6. Sorrow and Pain Came Crashing Down

A/N: The sixth chapter, just for you! .. It's sad, so I'm warning you. Please treat it kindly, arigato!

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Chapter 6: Sorrow and pain came crashing down…

"Come on, smile, don't cry anymore. From here on, I'll always be watching you…" - "Ain't afraid to Die"- Dir En Grey

_I couldn't believe it. It hit me so fast, I couldn't react right. My body was numb. My mind was numb, I felt like I was falling. And there you were, watching me, watching Akito. Your eyes wide with fear… shock, utter disgust as you looked at my bloodied eye. Finally, the pain hit me and my hand shot to my face; to my eye. It hurt fiercely, but all I wanted to do is see if you were all right. I didn't care if I went blind, as long as you were fine. Please don't cry anymore, just smile. I was too weak to protect you, and to blind to see what would happen to us. I'll be watching you forever, only from a distance._ - Hatori Sohma.

It was the moment of truth. Akito had to be told. Hatori straightened his tie and waited for Kana to finish getting ready. Kana straightened out the hem of her skirt as she walked down the staircase of the house she and Hatori now shared. "Are you ready, Kana?" he asked, his hazel eyes meeting her light purple ones. She nodded and smiled,

"We should get going, we don't want to be late!" They started off toward Akito's room.

* * *

A slender arm shook as a cold fall breeze caressed the pale skin. A cough racked the thin, fragile frame of a teenage boy. Holding out his shaking hand, a bird perched upon his finger. Dark blue-green shone with an evil sort of bitterness as the boy shoved his free hand through his short dark purple hair. "Hatori, wanted to see me?" a soft, gentle, yet bitter voice asked, as smile laced with bitterness and anger set itself on his lips. And with one last look out into his garden, the black dove walked back to his bed and sat down. His heart tainted with a bitter anguish, the type you shouldn't find in any teenager. "Please, do not make him wait, send him in." He frowned as Hatori and Kana both walked into his room, He watched as they positioned themselves on the floor- Hatori kneeling closer to Akito, Kana kneeling a few feet behind her beloved.

"Akito…" Hatori began, Akito looked at Hatori, wanting him to continue.

"Yes…?" he replied, "What is it Hatori?" he paused. "What is it that you desire?" Without anymore hesitation, Hatori said,

"Kana and I wish to be married." Akito's rage was building and in a flash of light, shards of broken glass went everywhere. Kana watched in horror as blood splattered everywhere. Hatori felt numb, he didn't move for a few seconds, only staring forward, his eyes wide. And suddenly, the pain hit him and his hand shot up to his eye. Shigure threw the door open.

"Kana… Hatori!" he ran over to Akito, holding him back. "Akito, calm down! Kana! Get Hatori out of here!" Hatori groaned as Kana crawled over to him.

"**Why would I give him to you! _I_ don't need you! You can't eve break the curse! I don't need you! I don't! I don't!**"

"Akito! Stop! Calm down!" Shigure shouted, but to no avail. Akito kept on strong in his verbal assault.

"**If Hatori goes blind, it's your fault! It's your fault! It's your fault! It's your fault! _IT'S YOUR FAULT…!_**" Hatori's eye throbbed as he took his hand away from his left eye, trying to see if Kana was all right. Kana gasped,

"Ha…Hatori…" she held her head in her hands and began to sob. "Hatori… I'm so sorry…!" Hatori felt like he had just been shot out of the sky. It wasn't fair. Why did this have to happen? He didn't care about his eye, all he cared about was Kana. She didn't have to be sorry…

"Kana…" Hatori whispered, "Kana… no… it's not…" Tears flowed from his right eye, as he finished, "You don't have to be sorry…" Finally, they escaped Akito's room and left the maids to clean up the bloodied glass and tatami.

As days passed, Hatori felt as though he had fallen down into his cold, small, Sohma cage. He felt as if his wings had been clipped… and his beating heart had been ripped right out of his chest. He didn't care about his eyes, or what Akito had done to him. He only felt this way because Kana still beat herself up over him. She was getting sick- he knew what had to be done. But… wasn't there a possibility of her getting over it…? But just how long should he wait… what if she died?

He couldn't take it anymore. He broke down and cried.

* * *

A/N: ;.; I made myself cry… Two chapters in one day- to make up for months of not updating. 


	7. It's the only way to save her

Sorry it took so long. I'm bad! ;-; Don't kill me, it's the really sad chapter. -hides-

****

Chapter 7: It's the only way to save her.

"So with sadness in my heart, I feel the best thing I could do is end it all and leave forever."- "Come Sweet Death" - Neon Genesis Evangelion

I felt sick. I put my hand up to your face and mentally prepared myself for what was to happen. I spoke with you briefly, knowing there was no turning back. I can't believe I was even the least bit hesitant about ending your pain, even though it would only increase mine. I need you to leave me behind- I need you to get better, I need to see your smile, even though it hurts me to my very soul. The bright flash of light… It's nothing new- I've seen it before. This is what I get. Now I know how Momiji feels. Just like I want Kana to hold on, he wanted his mother to hold on. Hoping the memories would make her stronger… but they won't. I know… that this… this horrid way… it's the only way to save her…

"Kana… it's okay, it's not-" She had collapsed into tears once again, as she had done for the past couple of days. He could tell that Kana was getting sicker as the days passed, her beautiful skin became fairer and fairer as the hours passed. Her eyes becoming more and more lifeless and saddened.

"I'm… so sorry!" She reached up and ran her fingers across the black eye patch,

"Kana, please, don't bl-"

"Did I hurt you? It's… my fault!" She eventually cried herself to sleep, that's how it always ended. He would tuck her in, kiss her, and leave the room, trying to fight off tears. But today was a little different. Akito. He wanted to see him. Hatori not blaming him for what happened, was still reluctant and them some. But he had to do what needed to be done, even if it was seeing Akito.

"Akito," he said, kneeling down before the family head. "You wanted to see me?"

"Aaah, yes. I've been wanting to see you Hatori, I'm glad you came." Akito gave a malicious smirk as he walked toward the partially blinded man. "It's… in times like these that your powers become… especially useful. I would've thought you wouldn't have hesitated to use them, seeing how much pain she's in…" Akito grabbed on to Hatori's tie and pulled lightly. "The truth is, is that she wants to be freed… She wants to forget… everything. You, love, and marriage… she doesn't want to remember…" Hatori, not wanting to believe it, kept a straight face, knowing it was the truth. "She wants to forget, you should let her…"

"I know. I will… let her." Akito pulled on Hatori's tie harder. Resting his head on Hatori's shoulder.

"It will be your final act of love, Hatori…" Hatori nodded, stood, bowed and left.

It was to be done. He couldn't help but feel betrayed by the family head, he had planned it, but he did not blame him. He should've never asked… He and Kana. They could've been happy if they were only a couple. This was… what he had to do to Momiji, it was just like it. Now… he would know what he felt. Losing someone he loved. The room, it was stained a bluish color as it reflecting their sadness. And Kana sat on the floor, Hatori standing in front of her, holding one of her hands in his.

"Thank you, Kana. Everything will be all right now," Hatori said, refusing the urge to cry. "I want you to be happy. To find happiness. It's my sincerest wish that you do." He ran his fingers through her hair once more before lowering his hand over her eyes.

"Hatori…" she whispered, "I'm sorry…" Tears streamed down her face. "I couldn't… protect you…" Hatori's eyes widened, his hand tightened around hers.

A bright, white light engulfed the room, and Kana fell backward, asleep. Hatori looked at her, tears streaming from his eyes. "No, Kana… **I** was the one who couldn't protect **you**." A servant opened the door, letting the white light spill into the blue tinted room. "Please, take her to somewhere where she can rest." He got up, and quickly, but calmly walked out.

----

I cried. After writing this one…


	8. Heartsick

(… It's a little short, but I'm updating twice to make up for 5 months of me slacking… )

_**Chapter 8: Heartsick **_

"_And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had, I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take, That people run in circles it a very, very, mad world. Mad world. Mad world…" Mad World_ - _Gary Jules_

_It wasn't fair. But then again, nothing is. Every night, when I close my eyes, I see your face. Every time I dreamt, I dreamt of you, until I felt that it was time to put a stop to it… and I did. And then that girl… she reminded me so much of you that it hurt. And since then, I've dreamt of you every night. Every time I dream, I die. Because there you are, smiling, telling me that we're about to get married. But it's **over**, really. It's been over for a long time. I love dreaming of you… but once again, I have to put a stop to it. It's **killing** me… _

It had been done, it was over, but the pain wasn't gone. He still had to work with her. As much as it hurt to see her, Sohma Hatori had to keep going, like it was nothing. He had to carry out this task. Of course, he had the full support of his two best friends, and that bubbly rabbit… But still, nothing could even compare with that woman's love. All hope for the future was lost. He wanted to fall off the face of the earth. And sometimes, he would completely lose his aloof demeanor and just break down, crying. Ayame and Shigure would rush to his aid, only to be swatted away with angry, guilty hands. The hands that could only cause pain to others, and now himself. His hands were tainted with memories he only now shared with himself. His Kana had been torn away from him, and he was the one to blame. He couldn't blame Akito… no… we **wouldn't** blame Akito… Hatori had himself utterly convinced that Akito had had every right to get mad. But now it was time for him to step up to what had happened. He had to fix what he had broken. He had to work with Kana until her internship was over, even if it meant keeping all this pain locked up, and all those happy memories frozen, like ice in his mind. He stood up, swatting away the four friendly hands that tried to help him and swallowed hard. As hard as it would be to cope with this, he had to, or else it would kill him slowly, like it had almost killed Kana.

"I had to help her…" he muttered to himself, ignoring Shigure and Ayame for the moment. They both had began to stare, only looking at the expression on his face, knowing that they would probably never see him smile the way he had before. Staring down at his hands, he closed his good eye and put his hand over the other. "I can live with one eye. But Kana… she cannot live with all that pain. I can handle it by myself. With no one else."

"Ha'ri?" Shigure asked, stepping a bit closer

"Haa-kun?" Ayame mimicked Shigure's actions,

"Her internship ends tomorrow…" Hatori muttered, "And then… maybe some of this pain will subside. I won't have to… work with her anymore." He paused, then muttered, "Go away, you two." Shigure and Ayame backed out of the room and Hatori kept his hand over his eye. "I refuse to forget her. The memories will not leave me. I will not let them bleed away… or fade into nothing. Kana…"


	9. Departure and Memories

(Last chapter. O.O; I actually finished it! Yay! I'm sorry it took me a year and a half! XD )

_**Chapter 9: Departure and Memories.**_

"_Punish me, I let you down. As I come near… the end is here. Eternal darkness is mine. I'm left to suffer... This I accept." Mental Repression - _Eighteen Visions

_Your internship was over, and I tried to walk you to the front gate… but someone called me... I remember having to fight off the feeling of love, the one that I made you forget. You turned around and thanked me for helping you. All I did was grunt and tell you goodbye. I wished you good luck and I turned around. And just like that, you were out of my hands forever. I walked back inside without a word, Momiji was so quiet… I hardly even took notice to his presence. I told myself to wake up, that I was just having a nightmare. I pinched myself a few times… and I realized that I wasn't dreaming. And I started to cry. I had never felt so upset. So sad, so full of anguish… I'd never felt that way. And I never want to feel it again. But if I could do it all again without the mistakes I made… I would do it. But I know I can't. So forever… I will remain frozen._

"Thank you so much! From what I learned from you will be my pride as a doctor! Er… well… after I finish school…" Kana was up, out of bed, and bouncing around in the office. He just gave her a blank, professional, Hatori-like look. They began walking down the hallway silently and Hatori felt the nosy eyes of the Sohma family upon their backs. He could hear the whispers of gossip echoing down the hallways… but he ignored it and kept on walking. Once Kana was gone… he could get on with his life… He walked with her, trying to ignore the pain that constantly throbbed and ate away at him.

"Hatori-san!" a woman called, "Akito-sama wants to see you." Hatori turned around, as did Kana.

"Thank you once again, Hatori-san! You taught me so much! Thank you so much for your help!" Kana said with a smile. Hatori gave a grunt. "Goodbye, Hatori-san! Thank you!"

"Goodbye, Kana. Good luck," Hatori replied, he began to walk back to the house. Not even looking back at her.

"Hatori-san… Akito has decided that he does not wish to see you at the moment." Hatori sighed.

"Fine." He began to walk to his house and tears began to form in his eyes. He quietly closed the door to his house, then pinched himself.

"It's a dream, Hatori…" he told himself, silently. "You're… having a nightmare…" He pinched himself a few more times before silently breaking down and crying. He sunk to his knees and leaned his head on the couch cushion. "She's gone…"

…

_It was only later that I told myself to stop crying. I had to be cruel to myself to be kind to you. I had release you. I never wanted to let you go. But I knew I had to. _

_You are my only love, Kana. And I will probably not find another lover. _

_You are my warm spring sun, Kana. But I'll never be able to say that to your face anymore. Your locket and engagement ring are in my desk drawer. The memories I hold…_

_I refuse to let them bleed away… I refuse to let them fade out of my mind. They will stay with me. Forever frozen. Like an endless winter in my mind._

_I want to keep my memories forever. The time we shared together is important to me, Kana. _

_And that is why the snow **never **melts._


End file.
